Kiss Me, Karma
by LittleCajunLady88
Summary: Amy asks Karma for a kiss so she can figure out if she still has feelings for her.


**A/N:** _I posted this drabble to tumblr (littlecajunlady) on March 22, 2015 (between eps 2x10 & 2x11) and the prompt was "Kiss me."_

* * *

"Kiss me."

Karma lets out a nervous little laugh. She stands up from where she's been sitting on Amy's bed in order to put some distance between them. "What?"

" _Kiss me._ " Amy needs this. Two days ago Reagan had told her they should take a break until Amy could "figure out her feelings" for Karma. Until then Amy had thought she had them all figured out. She was with Reagan, wasn't she? There is a part of her that feels angry because Reagan will never trust that she is truly over Karma. But then there's another part of her that feels guilty because Reagan may have every right to believe that's true. Amy needs to know, to prove it to herself and to Reagan. And if this experiment proves something to Karma as well, then that is good too.

"I can't kiss you. We shouldn't be opening up old wounds."

"What old wounds? Oh, you mean the time I told you I was in love with you and you turned me down because you didn't love me back? You mean those old wounds?"

Karma sighs. "Yes, and apparently they're not as old as I thought. Why do you want to subject yourself to this when you know what the outcome will be?"

"This isn't about you! It's about _me_. I'm so confused right now, and I think if I kiss you, it'll help me know if I'm over you."

"Isn't that how we got into this mess in the first place?"

Amy stands up too. She doesn't want to play the guilt card, but she's willing to try anything. "Please, Karma. I went along with everything you asked me to do even though it killed me. Can't you do this _one_ thing for me?"

Karma says nothing for a moment. She looks sympathetic, even slightly guilty. But then, with tears in her eyes, she shakes her head and says, "No. I don't want to hurt you again. And that's the only scenario I can see happening if I do."

She turns to go. Karma is about to walk out the door, and she has to find some way to stop her. Amy's voice becomes hard, accusatory. "Okay, what if it is about you?"

That gets her attention. Karma turns around. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I think this whole not wanting to kiss me thing is about more than just sparing my feelings."

"So enlighten me, Amy. What is this _really_ all about then?"

"I think you're scared." The thought Amy's had pent up inside her for the last few months comes pouring out. "I think you're scared to kiss me because you know you might feel something for me too."

Karma goes back over to her, arms crossed in defiance. "You're forgetting one thing. We've kissed dozens of times. And I never felt anything."

That hurt, but Amy knows it isn't true. "It didn't mean anything to you because you were faking it. It was all a game to you. You didn't put anything behind those kisses. But if you kissed me now, really kissed me, I know you'd feel it too."

Instead of feeling moved, she's incensed. "That's total bullshit, Amy! A guy doesn't have to kiss a girl in order to know that he's attracted to other guys. Asexuals don't have to have sex to know it's something they don't want to do. And I don't need to kiss _you_ to know that I'm not a lesbian."

Now Amy is the one blinking back tears. "Maybe that's true for a lot of people, but it wasn't true for me. I had to kiss you before I truly understood how much I loved you. And I'm just saying that maybe for you it's the same."

Karma starts to back away again, and she just looks sad and tired. "I can't do this anymore."

She's about to leave, but Amy isn't ready to give up yet. She still has one more card up her sleeve, and she hopes it's enough. Amy blurts out, "What about the night of the threesome?"

Karma stops in her tracks. "What about it?"

"You kissed me, Karma. That was a real kiss."

"No, that was a show for Liam. I had to make it look convincing for him, didn't I?"

"Now who's the bullshitter? You forgot he was even there." Amy puts every ounce of feeling into what she says next, and her voice shakes with emotion. "We were about to do something so intimate, Karma, something special. We were about to share probably the only thing we'd never shared with each other. I felt so close to you in that moment. Didn't you feel that?"

"I, yes … of course."

"All the times we'd kissed, we'd never kissed like _that._ And when it was over, you had to catch your breath. You even said, 'Wow.' If you could've seen the look on your face …"

"Fine, I was surprised, okay?"

"Why?"

"Because, I mean," Karma struggles to find the words. She starts to blush. "I guess I was surprised that I … didn't hate it."

"Is that all? You just _didn't hate it_?"

"It - it was nice," she concedes.

Amy puts her hands on Karma's hips and gently leads her closer. "And you had no idea kissing your best friend could be that nice."

She says nothing. Then her eyes quickly dart to Amy's lips before looking her in the face again. Amy's knowing little smirk is all it takes.

Karma is the one who dives in for the kiss. It starts out a bit too forceful, like Karma has something to prove. But as the kiss goes on, she starts to relax. To melt into it. Somehow her hands find their way to Amy's face without her deciding to do it. Amy is really good this. Maybe too good.

Karma opens her mouth, whether to say something or to stop it she doesn't know. But Amy takes the opportunity to use her tongue to push past her parted lips. Karma's eyes flutter open in surprise for just a moment, her lips frozen. But when Amy's tongue finds hers, Karma can't help but respond in kind.

Amy is the one who finally ends it. _"Damn it, I'm still in love with her_ ," she thinks, but she isn't surprised or upset by it. She figures she should've already known when she'd been willing to fight so hard for one fucking kiss.

Karma, however, looks completely dazed. "Wow," she says again, just like she had before.

Amy smiles and responds the same way she had on that night too. "I know."


End file.
